Vivid afterthoughts

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For Kansas

Why do I get so upset
For people I’ve never even met

I wish I could take it all away
The pain and the memories

I wish there was something to do
Even though
I probably mean nothing to you

I’m not strong enough
To take care of my own pain
But if it’s yours
I’d carry it twice the same

No one should have to go through
Everything you’ve had to
I know this because I’m like you
I did what I had to do

Buried the hurt deep inside
Kept on living when I felt like I died
Had no purpose other than pain
The saddest people understand real shame

Living just because you’re told to
By your own choice, you’d start new
Hope for a better world out there
There must be one somewhere

I feel for you as I sit here alone
I want to talk to you on the phone
Better yet see you in front of me
Then somehow I’d set you free

Distance makes the worst heartache
I don’t care we’ve never met face to face

If we ever do
I swear I’ll comfort you

You’ve captured me without trying
I’m sorry, but I’m honestly not lying

You’re worth it in my eyes, beautiful
All that pain I was meant to hold

©Carrie Kraszewski 2014

Mar 3
skimlines:

lol that murderous look on Link’s face. Hungry to murder pots.

Hahaha

skimlines:

lol that murderous look on Link’s face. Hungry to murder pots.

Hahaha

(Source: the-mysterious-cheese-thief)

Mar 1
fireflyca:

bookishbutcorruptible:

the-fandoms-are-valentines:

grandtheftautosanandreas:

Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters

they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay
“He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.”
"Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.”
"He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.”
"It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.”
"If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.”

“The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t.”

Douglas Adams is the best at describing EVERYTHING:
"He pounded his steering wheel, kicked the floor, thumped his cassette player until it suddenly started playing Barry Manilow, thumped it until it stopped again, and swore and swore and swore and swore and swore."

fireflyca:

bookishbutcorruptible:

the-fandoms-are-valentines:

grandtheftautosanandreas:

Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters

they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay

He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.”

"Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.”

"He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.”

"It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.”

"If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.”

“The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t.”

Douglas Adams is the best at describing EVERYTHING:

"He pounded his steering wheel, kicked the floor, thumped his cassette player until it suddenly started playing Barry Manilow, thumped it until it stopped again, and swore and swore and swore and swore and swore."

(Source: pizzahottie)

Mar 1

You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.

- Anne Lamott, Bird By Bird (via quotethat)

I love this

iraffiruse:

Frozach Submitted

HAHAHA YES.

This darkness inside me is real.

Little rant, I needed to get it out of my head because I couldn’t speak it out loud. I don’t speak hurtful dark things, instead I turn it into poetry or paintings. You’re welcome for turning your shittyness into something beautiful.


Seriously?
Yeah that’s nice, rant at me for things you don’t even know about.
Sure you’re sick, you got a scare, welcome to the real world.
Thanks for never caring about anything or anyone before this.
You know why I don’t say hi?
Because I hate it here and I hate the company I’m in.
Almost died? Give me a break please.
You’re so closed off to the world, to modern science, to technology, so ignorant that you lose your shit over something more than half the population I’m sure has had to go through.
You wonder why I don’t feel or care that you’re crying? Because I just don’t care. Because no one cares or asks anything about me. There isn’t a single time I can remember feeling loved or supported by this family.
When was the last time you ever listened to what I had to say?
When did you ever support me?
And you are trying to say that there is wrong that I’m doing?
No, you brought this on yourself.
I don’t give my love or affection easily.
This Family is supposed to be more important than a friend? No, not when my friends are the only ones there for me and this family would abandon me given the chance.
A friend I’ve only known for a short time has done more for me than you have all my life.
And without my friends I would have offed myself long ago because this family is hell.
I’m suffocated here, in a dense unbearable fog of negative energy and depression.
That’s fine. Say what you need to say and get it out. It’s not like you’ve ever tried to understand anyone else’s point of view in your life before.
I’ll be the person who keeps there mouth shut and won’t say hurtful ignorant things.
I’ll be the one who grins and bares it.
I’ll be the one who walks away.
I don’t care about your physical pain.
Because the pain I feel emotionally is more unbearable than anything physical.
No I’m not selfish. But for you to ask me to suddenly to start caring? That’s pretty selfish.
I have be alone through this whole life of mine, only having myself to take care of myself.
Where were you? You were complaining and hating and living inside yourself and looking down on me and telling me how things were going to be, before I could decide for myself.
Why did I come home unmoving for your pain? Why am I unsympathetic? Because I have apathy for you not empathy. Because I’ve been suffering and it hasn’t ever mattered. It shouldn’t have to take a scare or an illness or a surgery or whatever for you to want people to care.
Because when I came home with nothing left, nothing in my heart, no will to live, broken and beaten, no one here had any empathy or sympathy. I got the hard truth of the world. That everyone only cares for themselves.
I was turned away.
No one cared.
So don’t act surprised when I do the same.
Because this heart doesn’t forget the hurt inflicted on it.
Those scars don’t fade easily.
Ps. Happy birthday to me, thanks for never remembering.

Rant by me

Still struggling

It’s not fucking okay
to just treat someone badly
cheat on them
beat on them
whatever the fuck
just because you
have your own issues
and things you need to work on
Issues unrelated to me
then you go be happy later
and just fine living your new life
while I’m stuck here
picking up the aftermath
of my fucked up and shattered life.
Trying to figure out
How I got this way
How I’ve changed
What is wrong with this world
And these selfish people
“I love you”was supposed mean
Something.
It’s supposed to be selfless
Am I the only one who gets that?
It eats away at me
Wondering what’s so wrong with me
That I had to be the one
You ignored and forgot
Well, I’m just not important enough.

-I never did anything but love you.

©Carrie Kraszewski 2014

Feb 8

😂

(Source: iothecorgi)

This heart of mine

Now that I have it back
This heart has already grown wings

No matter the distance
It’s already flown away to you
In an instant

Before I knew your smile
Was what I was searching for

Remembering this wonderful feeling
Makes me excited and hopeful

I never thought
The numbness would subside

How quickly this heart
Is ready to be given away
After taking so long to repair

I wish my head wasn’t this weak
So my heart wouldn’t speak
Before I know what it will say

Those lyrics engraved on it
Repeating after each time

I keep making the same mistakes.

-To the girl I’ll fly to someday.

© Carrie Kraszewski 2014

My heart is free

There were days that I wouldn’t move
Couldn’t let my mind start switching channels
I’d pretend nothing mattered
keep sleeping

There were days you never crossed my mind
At least more than once
I couldn’t even count
how many times you did
All the other days

There were days I’d cry over you
Like it was happening all over again
Your cold words stinging
like the wetness in my eyes
And all I could do was nothing

There were days I felt powerful
Strength from someone I used to be
Feeling like
I could look toward the future now
And stop playing old records

So on the day you stopped by
I doubt you knew,
That tiny painting I made for you
You gave it back
With all my heart stowed inside
As I’d written on the back
You never bothered to look
“The person who holds this has my heart”
Our hug felt like goodbye this time

You gave it back, my heart to me

©Carrie Kraszewski 2014